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December Detox

So waiting until the first of the year has proven to everyone that things still may not change. So getting a head start won’t hurt. I’ve been in a cloud as far as what’s my next step with this. All I know , it’s time to elevate. So back to the drawing board.

so for the rest of December I’m starting from scratch. I’m not in a sad place and I don’t want my content to be sad. If that makes sense. I want everyone to enjoy the year. Make the absolute best. But don’t wait. START NOW !!!

Starting somewhere !

Honestly the year is closing and I’m feeling overly optimistic. Not to be cliche but can’t you feel this shift ? Not just you but the world has been going through some phase. Once I get out of my own way , I’ll see the change.

I’ve decided to start my new year early. Why wait until the 1st. A day isn’t going to change whatever journey you decide to take. I’ve been presented with a new obstacle that left me at a stand still. I’m trying my hardest to remain positive through these circumstances. It’s not the end of the world but definitely a change.

Anywho what’s first for me is completely rebranding. Although domestic violence awareness is the goal. I want to shift to recovery mode. Completely rebuilding the mind. Going to finish the videos I have and move forward. Thanks for sticking around.

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Acceptance

In this life you gone pay on the front end or the back end , but you gone pay ! You are going to pay for everything you ignored in one way or another. So here I am , about to be the 11th month of the year and the things I ignored have made their deposit.

I find that accepting things is the best for me. I’ve been let down in so many ways by so many people. These people aren’t random it’s actually the people close to me. With that I’ve experienced a lot of depression, anger , and a ton of other feelings. Right out hopeless at some points.

Honestly I felt like I had no control over my life. The best way to describe what

The beauty of acceptance is letting everything be. Be it the best situation or the worse. I’m excited that I now have some sort of control out of what felt to be a endless free fall. With my sons situation still adapting to it and will discuss in due time. As far as my original mission to be the Voice of domestic violence it’s still a reason to keep going. We celebrated a year of being active on Instagram !

Thanks for reading looking forward to ending this year on a good foot and a head start.

Stop trying to please people.

I’ve always been the helping hand in most situations in life. Always looking for validation through pleasing other people. It’s a big mistake because constantly pleasing other people is a disservice to yourself. You need you more than anything else. All the time you spend waiting on approval you could’ve granted yourself.

Another danger of “people pleasing” is you’re giving someone control of your thoughts. Your thoughts are with you even when no one else is around. So you mean to tell me when you could be thinking about improving yourself , BUT Your thoughts are directed at the fact that you may have displeased someone. ROBBERY!!!

Don’t get me wrong if this is some type of 50/50 , and that person would be equally as bothered by disappointing you. Then maybe just maybe they deserve it. Someone who isn’t missing any sleep doesn’t deserve to live in your mind “rent free”. They will be okay and 9/10 will find another way to get whatever it is done. Don’t carry that burden it’s not yours in the first place.

Just wanted to encourage someone.

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Not Your Traditional Fight or Flight !

Everything isn’t worth fighting for. Make it a good thing to take flight from things that serve no purpose. We are taught that vacations serve a peaceful purpose, but in reality some vacations go bad. What do you do when that vacation goes bad ? Get back on your damn flight to go back home . Follow me here ! So if peace was your home . You don’t have to stay and fight through the bad situation. Choose home , choose peace.

I can’t exactly explain this next chapter of my life. I just know I’m ready to embrace it. I’ve maintained some sort under the radar approach to everything. I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson about love. I know not to love ANYTHING more than I love myself. If it doesn’t cater to my future I will disregard without a fight.

Hope everyone is having a great and positive Saturday!

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Even When …

It’s so easy to lose sight of the goal. Absolutely nothing comes easy. The best things in life require you to come outside of what makes you comfortable. Are you not ready for change? What about change scares you?

Even when you don’t have those answers. Just know the life you so wish to live is on the other side of fear. I read a quote today that said “don’t worry about opinions from people you wouldn’t take advice from”. With that being said pick your head up. Fight for what makes you happy and let go of things that serve no purpose .

If this only encourages one person. My job is done.

Thanks for reading.

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Happy 1st Birthday To Survivor Ever After !

I’ve probably started a dozen businesses in my little life time but this is the first one that I’ve stuck with and here we are at a full year. I see so much growth coming in the next year. I’m overjoyed with the amount of positive feedback and encouraging words I get on the day to day.

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I’m by no means perfect and actually a work in progress , but I’m determined to grab a hand on my way up. My pain cannot be in vain. I never want anyone to endure this process alone. Together we can heal together. I’m not sure if it’s clear but this is for men and women , abusers don’t have one select gender and it’s not only for heterosexual couples. THIS IS FOR ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! Just didn’t want anyone to feel that this is one sided over here because NO.

With that being said thanks for everything. So much more to come.

The actual pursuit to happiness.

You can’t enjoy your happiness if you don’t embrace your sadness. Just sitting here thinking that maybe I would actually enjoy being happy if I wasn’t scared of it’s temporary stay. The moment I feel happy a timer starts in my mind, maybe that’s a guard I set for myself. Since at one point sadness and unfortunate events became short between and lasted longer . I started to look at happiness as a scam and truly it’s not. You have to take these moments and make the absolute best of them.

This pursuit isn’t easy but it is worth it. Even when everything else seems to be in shambles. Remember the goal.

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YouTube channel coming soon. Stay tuned.

SurvivorEverAfter is expanding , All thanks to you !

That’s right !!! We are expanding to YouTube . Ready to see my face? lol. Now for my readers I’ll still have blog post to follow each video. Plus we getting ready to launch “Money Gossip”, Where every week I’ll be coming to you with ways to make a passive income. Stay tuned for a new schedule.

Remember SurvivorEverAfter is turning 1 years old.

STAY TUNED !

Disconnected – Random Poetry

ATTN ! I did curse a little bit in this.

Im feeling unplugged. Overly detached.Like I can’t tell you the last time I felt. Is this some guard that I set for myself? How did I go from feeling everything to this numbness? Why can’t I connect, I’ve restarted my social battery a few times and I still can’t seem to find a signal. Is this the result of not protecting my heart. Use to wear her on my sleeve. Now the sleeves so tattered. I tore the sleeves now I’m in a vest . This vest bulletproof similar to my feelings.Reaching out but the results constantly repeating. How many times I’m gone tell somebody my favorite color is pink? Am I difficult to love or to broken to be mended. See this the shit that have me bent. Why is so hard to connect with pure intent. Is my future so bright that love would probably ruin it.That’s me looking on the upside.Maybe in due time I’ll find mine. I don’t see myself in park for the mean time but I’ll let shit coast and enjoy my free time. My disconnect 💜

Dating again sucks !

So 2 years sounds like a long time but once you throw in healing , crying , frustration, and all out confusing. You see how that time isn’t long at all. Considering you’ve transformed into a different person in some ways good and overbearing in others. You still have that soft spot. Not necessarily speaking from a physical standpoint but rebuilding how to communicate without a brick wall.

I’ve tried to date and after speaking with other survivors who were off the market for 10 plus years , my little 4 years off the market shouldn’t be a crippling swing to get back into. BUT IT HAS BEEN !!!! From overthinking to not being sure if I’m even worth loving again. Which may sound silly but coming from what I know it’s a serious feeling.

Spend so much time researching and educating myself on my trauma , and wanting to avoid it again. That sometimes dating seems like a trap. Although again at moments where I miss companionship. I know better to project my pain so it’s conflicting. Do I share my space or not ? Is that or was that a red flag or not ? Is he going to try to control me or not? And because I don’t have those answers I know I’m not ready.

Truly having peace is my goal and finding it within myself has been the priority. In the same breath I say hello , I’ll say goodbye. What’s the point of healing from something just to return to it in the form of another human. Lately it’s been this cycle of the same old mess. Talking stage and then nothing. Which is only a let down if I was feeling the person. No matter how much I’m feeling a person one wrong move and I’m absent. My forgiveness meter is still broken. I mean I know how to forgive but I also know how to excuse myself.

Just hope “Mr.Right” doesn’t come in the middle of me trying to “play it safe”. Time will tell. Dating sucks nonetheless. Thanks for reading. Have you tried dating after DV ? How was it ? Good or Bad ?

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Domestic Violence Survivor. 2 years later !

These days I have moments where it never happened , but from time to time I’m grabbing my heart loving every throb of being alive. Domestic violence is a sticky topic and most of us are not trying to live out entire life’s reliving a nightmare.

I also think it’s healthy to take a moment of gratitude and be thankful for finding that strength to leave. Although I don’t speak or see that person anymore I no longer care if karma “will do her thing” . I actually find it more peaceful not to care at all .

Lately I’ve been looking for the tools for the next level in life. Hey !! here we are 2 years later. I’ll never be the same but I’m not who I was. Stand a lot taller for myself, and willing to disconnect if needed without guilt.

So if you’re reading this and you haven’t left yet or maybe left recently give yourself time. Give yourself the chance to go through every phase it’ll help later down the line. Painful is a understatement , but here i stand today as a witness. That you can truly be free it just takes time to shed the pain 💜 your pain will become light for the next person who needs you.

Hello July !

Well that was fast 7 months in , and you’re either sad that you haven’t kept your promises to yourself , or you’re flourishing in your new goals. Well I have good news for both ; you can either start today or you can continue to get better. A complete win for everybody!

Start your month off on a strong foot. This month we will be :

  1. Finding some financial freedom, Interested in a second line of income or stay at home work?
  2. Have you ever been on a Cruise before ?
  • 3. Some healthy upgrades to everyday life physical and mental.
  • 4. OF COURSE MORE INSPIRATION !!!
  • STAY TUNED !!!!

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    How My Life Changed In Less Than 10 Minutes.

    Confusion Equates Control – @Spirtualwhistleblower

    For the life of me for i couldn’t get a hold of what i was feeling. Next month will make 2 years since i made my permanent exit from the relationship that changed me as a person. A lot of days im proud of myself for being so brave. With that being said im human and from time to time ill have a moment of doubt , did i make the right choice ? , im still single and cant seem to commit? Literally going over every possible wrong in my head after any encounter or flashback from that nightmare.

    I was casually scrolling my Instagram when i came across a post by @ Spirtualwhistleblower where she described my pain to the tea in a video that was 8 minutes and 36 seconds , in less than 10 minutes it all came full circle. Its the narcs goal for me to be confused . I know in my heart damn well leaving was the best choice. How could i allow him to rob me of my freedom. Ive been correct about this all along and she clearly said “Confusion Equates Control” . A literal light bulb went off in my head . 2 years of complete unapologetic growth to be clouded by confusion . im free from him , im free from the bullshit , and although we share a child it showed me that standing on my boundary without explanations. Excuse my french but fuck who dont like it . Once you learn that you are intelligent and worth to be loved without harm the healing process can continue.

    Dont live your entire life with resentment , it happened , you survived , and you deserve to move on.

    Overthinking Can Be Deadly!

    if you think you’re overthinking you probably are.

    Its true Overthinking can cause you more problems than you may have realized , such as an unrealistic view of problems or even more extreme effects such as headaches , and muscle tension. In those moments trust your first thought , and keep it pushing . If you have time to overthink its best to find some healthy distractions aka Hobbies .

    My current Hobbies have been writing of course nothing compares to the old paper and pen combo when expressing thoughts , music always lifts my mood so keeping a good headset is important , My headset also comes in handy for Podcast and Audible books. Im always looking for new hobbies. Drop in the comments below and share your Healthy Distractions aka Hobby

    Dont worry if you dont have any Hobbies ive done some research and your healthy distraction is only a click away:

    • Get Audible Subscription With a 30 Day Free Trial Offer and Enjoy 2 free downloads today click here
    • Grab A diary ; Need a Safe Place For Those Thoughts click here
    • Start a Yoga Hobby click here

    Thanks For Reading Hope I Helped You Find Some Healthy Distractions . Go ahead and subscribe got more content coming . Follow On Instagram

    Welcome to My New Blog

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

    — Lao Tzu.

    This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting started with this , so stay tuned to learn new ways to manage life after such traumatic experience. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.